Songs of the Year.

Five songs that have gotten me through a tough time (2013).

1. Pirate Blues // As Cities Burn

“Before you, your mom and your dad

Used to smoke in the Texas sun

They were young once too…”

Life has a reciprocal nature. We've heard phrases like: “Do unto others as you would have done to you”, “what goes around comes around” and “He’ll get what's coming…”. This song beautifully captures the lead singers foresight of the circular track of life. For me this year has been much like this song. It’s caused me to look back on not only my life, but the lives before me and the lives that will follow in my footsteps. I even have my "future" cryogenically frozen. It was in this perspective that I’ve found myself doubting how life will turn out. Like the deep beat of this song, my heart pounds and my thoughts race, but I've found peace. This peace has no defining features besides that it is not of my own. Who really knows what shall happen to them by the end of the night? But because time has a mind of it’s own maybe that enough reason for me not to fret.

“Oh, I wanna find out I'm wrong

And every road leads us home…”

2. Dirty Paws // Monsters of Men

Finding out you’re not alone is a bizarre experience. When this song first “clicked” for me this year I was in a friends car. We were cruising on the interstate like two single dudes do. It was nighttime. Our lectures were procured from our interactions with the alien species called "woman" and where we felt like we should be. We let the smoke collect and the conversation smolder as his iPod blared catchy tunes. Once Dirty Paws by Monsters of Men came on we fell silent. The driver did some air-drumming while I sat still feeling my way through the piece of music. The story of the song isn't mind blowing, for if you've ever listened to Murder By Death you know how stories are meant to be sung, but it was gorgeous. There’s something about the chorus gang vocals though. It feels victorious, it feels comforting, inviting and most of all as if you belong. When I found out I wasn't alone through the fight that I am currently experiencing, it felt just like this sounds. 

3. Car // Built To Spill

“I need a car, you need a guide, who needs a map?

If I don't die or worse, I'm gonna need a nap

At best I'll be asleep when you get back…”

I’ve always been a huge Built To Spill fan, but like great movies or books some albums don’t really sink in until later. I’ve always loved this song, but it’s now been a song of comfort because I feel like it understands me. If you ask my friends or even ex-girlfriends (I'd prefer you not too), you’ll find out that I often have “itchy feet”. I have a hard time staying in one place for too long, which has both rewarded and punished me. This year I’ve felt the “itchy feet” syndrome more than ever. I’ve looked into moving across country, across the sea and also just down the road a few blocks. After the diagnosis I became stuck mentally, emotionally, and literally. I couldn't drive and had to use a walker or cane to get around. Once my pelvis healed and the doctors said it was okay for me to drive I wasted no time and gingerly put the pedal to the metal. The first song I listened to was Car. I sang along with the windows down and felt movement. Whenever I’ve need movement I play this song.

4. Memories From The End Pt. 1 // Right Away, Great Captain.

“...but i

i want it all

oh i want it all

and i won't stop if i fall

cause i want it all…”

“You’re being so positive Brady!”

I've heard that a lot.

I've faked that complement a lot as well.

Some days you can barely see it on my sleeve and others I’m lying right through my teeth. I’m surprised that it hasn't bitten but only a few people. On my hardest day I try and focus on what keeps me going, what makes me happy and that I'm still here. I’m still here, my friends are still here, so why should my positivism go anywhere? Well somedays I wander off, down a dark and vacuous alleyway. It is in those dark corners where I find the foundation of my strength, hope. When death lingers not only your doorstep but also has hitched a ride instead of your body, perspectives seem to change. I remember when I was in the hospital for the first time and my sister Kelly came to visit me. She walked into the halogen lit room, stood three feet from the doorway and began to cry. When I looked upon her face I felt a hot fury well up inside of me. She was in pain, perhaps a far greater one than me and I knew that I had to smile and tell her that I loved her. Ever since then I’ve made it my goal to show those who love me that I am strong and that my strength will not fade. On those days of complete sadness I remind myself that I’ve made it this far, I have a beautiful future and I won’t stop until I fall. 

5. Jesus // Page France

“...And Jesus will dance while we drink his wine

With soldiers and thieves and a sword in his side

And we will be joy and we will be right…”

At the end of the day I am just a boy. Out of the billions of people in this world I am surrounded by a few, but those few remind me daily that we are created in Gods image. It is those few people that show me that God has a face like our and cares about the one boy who suffers through the hardest time of his life. Jesus by Page France is my song when I need to be uplifted. It’s the song that I need to be reminded that God loves those who are stuck in the dirt. I believe that one day I will be in heaven. I hope it’s not anytime soon, but if it is I know that I will be drinking from the Lords cup and it will be so delicious. I’ll be so intoxicated in heaven that I will sing a song for Jesus, he’ll dance, clap his hands and stomp his feet.

Honorable Mentions:

1. I'll Talk To You Tomorrow // Calibretto 13
2. Dog Days Are Over // Folerence + The Machine
3. Harrison Ford // Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
4. Scenic World // Beirut
5. Fade Into You // Mazzy Star





My name is Brady Effler and I am currently unemployed. That is the truth, but it is also not because I don't want to work, I do. I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma at the end of July 2013, and now I'm fighting the good fight. I am currently going through chemo treatments. From the advisement and orders of my doctor, I am not supposed to be working. Currently I am in the waiting process to receive social security, but that is taking it's time. If you liked what you read, please feel free to donate. I am currently trying to pay off my student loans and other bills (pills, hospital visits, etc...). I'm not going to lie to you, some the donation money will go towards gasoline, or perhaps even a cup of coffee. Anything you give is awesome. Feel free to shoot me an email too if you'd like. I can also make you a gnarly playlist.
Thanks again for reading. I'm not begging, or trying to pull the wool over anyone, just being honest.
- Brady